So, you all know that I lost 60lbs and hit goal (2nd/lower goal) in summer of '07. Well, I've gained all by 20lbs of it back...because I apparantly suck. I really can't explain why I gained it all back. I was still very careful with my portions and my choices, etc. I basically followed the "maintanance" part of the plan I used and still those pounds crept back on.
So, I thought, I better go back on the weight loss part of the plan. I tried. I tried over and over and just felt so resentful of the fact that, once again, I was eating just about nothing (after taking a year to do the first time) and got crabby and miserable. My head would feel all confused and I couldn't get back the structure. Man, I was just PISSED.
Along comes the commercial for the free week of Weight Watchers online. Wait...what? Weight Watchers without the meetings? Yep. I checked. That's exactly what it is. I'm only on day 3 of my week, but I'm LOVING it. Weight Watchers has worked for me in the past. I just hated meetings and without the accountability of the weigh-ins it was too easy to slack off.
So...I am weighing in ONCE A WEEK! I refuse to weigh in more than that or I go to the crazy place of weighing 20+ times/day and I just don't think that's healthy...at least not for me. I am eating what I want to eat, what I like to eat. I'm finding it hard to eat all of points each day, actually. So, Friday is my weigh in day. I guess we'll see how it's working then, but for now, I'm thrilled that I found something great for me, right now.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
A sweet sound...
So, I am really trying to be more aware of my prayer life. I don't tend to set aside time for talking to God until I'm half asleep and that's just not right. I should be making time for Him out of my best time, not only my leftover time. Just like charity. We shouldn't only give from our excess, but from our want. I look at prayer that way, too. I don't want God just getting my leftovers...time-wise.
Don't get me wrong. I have a running conversation with Him all day long. It's not that I don't pray...not at all. I figure it's a lot like my relationship with Christopher. We talk everyday. We talk a lot, but our relationship grows anemic if we don't set aside time just to be together. So, I'm working on being more purposeful in my conversations with Jesus, in particular.
This evening, I was alone in the kitchen. It was rare moment of solitude and I often find myself saying or humming some of my favorite hymns or songs in those moments. One of my favorites, to the point that I sang it as a lullaby to all my babies and it can move me to tears, goes like this:
I love you Lord and I lift my voice
To worship You
Oh my soul rejoice
Take joy My King in what you hear
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear
I started thinking about why such a simple verse means so much to me. I think I've figured it out. I am not a good singer. I love to sing, but I suck. Ever since I learned this song in 7th grade, I've felt so much more confident in singing for my kids, at church, in the car...wherever. This carries through to a lot of my life, too. I suck at a lot of things. I get an "A" for effort in a lot of areas though. This song reminds me that He sees my effort. He knows when I'm busting my butt for Him, even when I'm failing miserably. I want it to be a joy for Him that I'm putting in the effort. I believe that it is a joy. This song reminds me how much Jesus loves me. He gave me my voice, for good or for ill, I'm pretty sure he wants me to use it and everything else He gave me, to His glory. Knowing that, even when other people see only the lack, He sees the effort is like a warm embrace from the Father Himself.
And, since most everything works in a cyclical fashion, this brings me back to my determination to make time from the BEST of my day for Him. He's knows me, He loves me, He wants to hear from me in a meaningful way when I'm fully conscious :-p.
ETA: Here's a link to the song. It's got some extra stuff after the first verse that I'm not familiar with, but this is the song that I adore!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qn2FfVxO-1o
Don't get me wrong. I have a running conversation with Him all day long. It's not that I don't pray...not at all. I figure it's a lot like my relationship with Christopher. We talk everyday. We talk a lot, but our relationship grows anemic if we don't set aside time just to be together. So, I'm working on being more purposeful in my conversations with Jesus, in particular.
This evening, I was alone in the kitchen. It was rare moment of solitude and I often find myself saying or humming some of my favorite hymns or songs in those moments. One of my favorites, to the point that I sang it as a lullaby to all my babies and it can move me to tears, goes like this:
I love you Lord and I lift my voice
To worship You
Oh my soul rejoice
Take joy My King in what you hear
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear
I started thinking about why such a simple verse means so much to me. I think I've figured it out. I am not a good singer. I love to sing, but I suck. Ever since I learned this song in 7th grade, I've felt so much more confident in singing for my kids, at church, in the car...wherever. This carries through to a lot of my life, too. I suck at a lot of things. I get an "A" for effort in a lot of areas though. This song reminds me that He sees my effort. He knows when I'm busting my butt for Him, even when I'm failing miserably. I want it to be a joy for Him that I'm putting in the effort. I believe that it is a joy. This song reminds me how much Jesus loves me. He gave me my voice, for good or for ill, I'm pretty sure he wants me to use it and everything else He gave me, to His glory. Knowing that, even when other people see only the lack, He sees the effort is like a warm embrace from the Father Himself.
And, since most everything works in a cyclical fashion, this brings me back to my determination to make time from the BEST of my day for Him. He's knows me, He loves me, He wants to hear from me in a meaningful way when I'm fully conscious :-p.
ETA: Here's a link to the song. It's got some extra stuff after the first verse that I'm not familiar with, but this is the song that I adore!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qn2FfVxO-1o
Thursday, January 8, 2009
It's the weirdest thing...
I think I like homeschooling. *gasps, while looking left, then right* Did I say that? Why yes, I believe I did. It's going very smoothly, generally speaking. We certainly have our moments, but overall, it's nice.
I figured out what worked for my kids and I tweaked things accordingly...and I'm still tweaking. I'm slowly adding things into Zay's daily routine. I have to add things in just a little at a time or she panics. So, it's slow enough that she barely notices and just keeps plugging along.
Killian is getting into some topics that I'm very confident in helping him with and he's loving that we can sit down together and brainstorm things.
Carina is on fire with excitement for everything she can do and wants more, more, more.
This is what it's supposed to be all about. I'm learning to balance the discipline that I think is so important with the flexibility that is a big bonus of home schooling. It's all falling into place...I think. I hope I didn't just jinx myself! We're coming up on the end of 2nd quarter, so finals are around the corner. I guess the proof will be in the pudding...or test grades, in this case.
I figured out what worked for my kids and I tweaked things accordingly...and I'm still tweaking. I'm slowly adding things into Zay's daily routine. I have to add things in just a little at a time or she panics. So, it's slow enough that she barely notices and just keeps plugging along.
Killian is getting into some topics that I'm very confident in helping him with and he's loving that we can sit down together and brainstorm things.
Carina is on fire with excitement for everything she can do and wants more, more, more.
This is what it's supposed to be all about. I'm learning to balance the discipline that I think is so important with the flexibility that is a big bonus of home schooling. It's all falling into place...I think. I hope I didn't just jinx myself! We're coming up on the end of 2nd quarter, so finals are around the corner. I guess the proof will be in the pudding...or test grades, in this case.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)