Wisdom...

A very favorite quote of mine is from Maya Angelou (I think). I heard it on Oprah years and years ago and it rang so true then and has only become more and more useful to me through the years.

"When people show you who they are believe them...the first time."

When you see the heart of someone through their behavior, their actions, it is easy to know who they are. Sure good people sometimes do bad or hurtful things, but these things are out of character, usually regretted and so, easily forgiven. Bad, deceitful, spiteful people sometimes do good things and they are almost always self-serving or inauthentic.

It seems that so many people make life and relationships infinitly more complicated than they need to be. Sometimes we can't know the truth about a situation because we weren't there, but if someone we know and trust was there, it's not hard to believe what they tell you, even if it is at odds with what someone else has told you about the same situation. Especially if the someone else has lied to you over and over in the past. In such situations it's ridiculous to throw up your hands and say that the truth is unknowable. Yet, so many people do this in their daily life.

I find the quote cautionary, too. It reminds me that I am known by my actions. It's no good to only WANT in my heart to do good, I have to actually DO it. That is how other people know who I am and what I stand for. If I get lazy and my actions do not match the Truth I know in my heart, that speaks to the kind of person I am and others will judge me accordingly.

I am so tired of so many people in my life behaving as if we are all neutral and sometimes we hop to the right side and are good and sometimes we hop to the left side and are bad (making NO allusion to political leanings here, at all!). That's just so untrue. People show us who they are all the time. Life and love and friendship and family are much, much easier when we believe them...the first time.